Especially after I have broken my arm and turned back to Istanbul from London, I became a “No Man”. By being a No Man, I mean I was rejecting almost every plan made by friends, wasn’t calling my old friends and even not picking up their calls. I was delaying going for a walk, starting to eat well and even going shopping. I know it sounds like I was in depression – and maybe I was 🙂
Anyway, after almost a year I started to get social again and I realized that when I need something from someone, I was so ashamed to ask because I was always thinking that they would reject me. even though the things I wanted to ask were nothing big, such as wanting to talk to them when I need or meeting a friend when I know they are living at the other side of the city and it would be difficult for them to come blah blah. When I compared my former friendships with the ones consisting of these kinds of concerns, I realized that things have to change! I started to feel alive again and I promised myself that I will accept the demands of my friends and be open-hearted. After I decided this, one day, I was checking out Netflix and the film “Yes Man!” popped out on the screen. I really love Jim Carrey so I said, why not and clicked play. I didn’t know what it was about before watching it. But after watching, I figured that it was the film that I had to watch at that exact moment!! For my readers who haven’t watched the film yet; the film is about a man, who is grumpy and never get involved in any plans etc. One day, he bumps into a friend and joins the Yes Man! meeting and this new rule changed his whole life. Since the film was so in line with my new policy, I’ve started implementing the “Yes Man!” rule in my life. Of course, I am not a success as Jim Carrey was in the film, but I am somewhere close 🙂
I feel so much better saying yes rather than no. It became such a relief and I am feeling that I am being open to the opportunities. And by rejecting the calls and offers, I realized that I was blocking the energy to flow through me!
Saying no is a defense mechanism found by the ego. Ego doesn’t like to fail. However, the divine self can only get developed and feel satisfied by living and giving everything a chance.
As it is well stated in Bhagavat Gita:
Chapter 3: Karma-yoga
karma jyayo hy akarmanah
sarira-yatrapi ca te
na prasiddhyed akarmanah